why billionaires escape earth (without telling their mom) ○ homo happy 4

is absolutely the wrong question to ask

and in fact extremely boring

because the answer is so plain obvious that even emily blunt would sigh upon hearing it

billionaires like bezos, musk and branson escape to space because earth has too many people with poor opinions

see, when you have that much money the least thing you want in your life is morons

but heres what nobody talks about

Why do all rockets look like giant penises?

I mean, seriously.

Every single one looks like Jeff Bezos designed it after looking in the mirror.

The answer is simple:

Physics don't care about how you feel when you undress, stand in front of the mirror, look down, and regret that you did.

There’s no space ship for everyone.

But here's what you can do instead of without experiencing penis envy.

Stick your hand out a car window while driving.

Try different shapes.

The pointy ones always cut through air better.

Same with rockets.

Aerodynamics wins every time.

Look, I actually respect the space billionaire hustle.

If I had that money I'd probably blast off to Mars just to see if The Martian was real.

Speaking of things that make life more bearable...

I’ve been writing something called "Summer Smile" during my late-night shifts.

Each one takes 10 seconds to read (or less) and is designed to make you snort-laugh.

I wrote them because my life got too serious.

Work stress, money problems, relationship drama.

I needed something stupid to look forward to each day.

Turns out daily doses of ridiculous humor actually work.

My mood improved.

My stress dropped.

Even my coffee tasted better.

HOLD ON. I don't even drink coffee. But you get my point.

So I'm sharing them with you starting June 21st.

Right now you can grab all 90 days for whatever you want to pay.

Minimum is €9.

That's basically 10 cents per laugh.

Fair warning:

These jokes are smart.

Like really smart.

But that's exactly why they work.

For the intellectual elite that I’m selling them to.

You are not a moron and I appreciate your intellect.

Pre-order now at https://naii.io/summersmile

And receive it on June 21st – that’s in 6 days.

I’m still on the finishing touches so it’s ready to show my mom.

I want her to be proud of me.

If she only spoke proper English... sigh :(

At least you do, so that’s a relief!

And hey, as with every product of mine you get a once-a-week ChuckleGuarantee™.

If you don't laugh at least once a week, I'll refund every penny.

¡Ándale, arriba!

naii.io

Oh, one last thing before you go...
If you're rich or famous or in a powerful position to be the political leader of a country, avoid persons that look like Sara Netanyahu — watch Bibi Files (2024) and you will know why (and yes, Bibi would definitely escape Earth without telling his wife)