he says [1]
delivery takes a while, 9+ months
but the product so far has absolutely exceeded my expectations
* super lightweight
* surprisingly durable
* and that new baby smell is just chefs kiss
now the learning curve is steep, not gonna lie to you guys
but once you figure out the whole kind of "crying equals need something" algorithm
its pretty intuitive now
* the smile feature is absolutely game changing - instant dopamine hit every single time!
* battery life is only about 90 minutes
* and sleep mode still has some bugs, but support says it will be patched in the next update
now performance....
this thing is a machine:
* processes milk at just incredible speeds
* converts directly to energy and growth
the learning ai is honestly impressive
you know, babies, theyre a lot like having your own personal LLM
(if LLMs also peed on you)
now the features...
* the cute factor is off the charts
* definitely enterprise grade durability
* advanced grip functionality
* surprisingly good audio (but frankly, the volume could be a little bit lower)
and pro tip...
the cuddle feature is absolutely worth the premium pricing overall
i would definitely recommend this product for families looking to scale
yeah, theyre resource intensive
and they require significant investment
(its kinda like an expensive SaaS subscription with no cancellation policy!)
but the ROI is already showing massive gains in happiness metrics
so thats my review
stay tuned for future product updates
time to (smells babys butt) go change diaper
all right
im out
oh, one last thing before you go...
i once reviewed an ex girlfriend
i gave her a 1 star rating
she was a gold digger
and had 4 stars for lunch
if youre looking for 5-star humor
dont look further
get your copy of summer smile ☀️
naii "loves purple and is the incarnation of what prince sang about in 1991 diamonds and pearls" io
- - -
[1] https://x.com/itsme_urstruly/status/1958581064261411219