on monday i had a simple test for you
to find out whether you are a fun person or german
and the test was about a german word:
Bauarbeiterdekolleté
(or: Maurerdekolleté)
here is what it means
you can see whats called a "plumbers crack"
a man showing butt when bending over because of how he is wearing his pants
and you can see what canadian company canac is doing about it
by hiding the butt crack
and they call it a "solution"
while they are in fact hiding the problem
(like make-up aims to hide impurities while it suffocates your skin)
the problem is being "uptight"
a german trait
you are uptight when the stick in your ass is not allowing you to maneuver life with flexibility of mind and body
when you are instead stick-straight
so you feel like a ruff is around your neck all the time
not that ↑ kind of ruff...
that ↓ kind of ruff...
imagine wearing it all your life
that would in fact be a "ruff life"
and nobody really wants that
and thats why you wanna be more like a plumber
because plumbers are the last free people on earth
they are taking it easy because they let loose…
* let loose of their pants
* let loose of their underwear
* even let loose of them "giving a fuck"
and instead they show the male equivalent of
what women show they have a line between their two cups…
which is only applicable to women with, you know, big cups, large cups, the ones that come in “handy”
.
.
so there you have it
having a Bauarbeiterdekolleté is the difference between being happy and being german…
now the last legitimate question is:
what is your cup size?
originally i wanted to ask, "what is your butt size?"
but i thought it would be inappropriate
so instead i wrote a joke about it (see below)
which leads me to the only alternative if you...
...dont have a butt
...don have a mans butt
....dont work as a plumber
....dont wear blue jeans
....or dont bend over at work
this one alternative is to let loose in life and be free...
and its best applied with a copy of...
Summer Smile ☀️ in your hand
* 90 pages of freedom
* 90 days of letting loose
* 90 jokes to break free from the harmful chains of societal conformity
delivered straight to you...
* so you can read them at the beach
* while youre slurping daiquiri or soda
* during the best time of the year
you pay whatever you want — starting at 17 euros
* thats basically 19 cents per laugh
* cheaper than a ruff around your neck
* and way less painful
order now for the best price before i increase the price permanently
and yes — i also give you my official ChuckleGuarantee™
if you dont laugh at least once a week, i'll refund you every cent
* no questions
* no guilt trips
* no awkward small talk
order now at https://naii.io/summersmile
because humor is at least 50 percent the way to a life in freedom, a life without borders, a life where you show butt but dont give a fuck
and when your halfway there you might as well just stay
and do what youre supposed to do
make your summer...
...a bit sillier
...a bit funnier
...a bit free-er like a white bird flying through the blue sky
...because you have the courage to pursue a life of meaning and excellence, out of boring averageness and harmful conformity as well as societal pressure
because you know whats best for you
oh, one last thing before you go...
wanted to be a film star
had an interview in 1977
at the hollywood hills
"my name is dirk diggler"
("i made it")
¡Ándale, arriba!
naii "has a big butt and cannot lie" io
p.s. my favorite deep song on my 1977 playlist is from the bee gees, its called "how deep is your butt" - i get asked that question a lot