my writing sucked like a pornstar ○ homo happy 7

and i didnt know why

until i realized the truth...

see, last night i checked the 90 jokes i wrote recently

and honestly didnt like them anymore

was a tough pill to swallow, especially cos i enjoyed writing them at the time

i thought:

"wow, alex, this is brilliant. im basically hemingway, but funny!"

spoiler: i was not

but heres the thing, and this might sound familiar:

theres this annoying little gremlin that lives in your head

it waits until you finish your work, then taps you on the shoulder, and goes like:

"hey, buddy. that’s not funny!"

you know that gremlin?

i call mine bert

(bert has a british accent, which makes it even worse, feels extra judgmental)

and the only way ive found to deal with bert is to let him talk until tired, like a toddler who skipped nap time, and then eventually gives up and goes back to his cave

"FUCK OFF!" i thought

and there he went...

but the real trouble started when life itself joined forces with bert:

* work got stressful
* money got tight
* even the walls in my room turned the other way
* i felt like the mother of Clockwork Orange and The Shining

i needed something simple

* something silly
* something light
* the mental equivalent of a beach chair for my brain
* (with a touch of albert camus mojito in my hand)

so i did what any extremely mature adult would do

i wrote 90 witty jokes

* one for every day of summer
* each one takes about 10 seconds to read
* but hours to ponder * with lots of deep meaning
* and something that grows on you as you digest

here’s one:

Erection
June 16
Was invited on set
Forgot to close the zipper
She didn’t mind
(was pants down the best day of my life)

now you get the idea

are these jokes potentially life-changing?
yes!

are they going to win literary awards?
probably not

but they might just save your mood
like they did for me

and they make you life longer
which is the sole reason im doing all this

remember the "Chat with Pet" comedy series from back in march 2025?

thats where i knew i want daily humor in my life

here is Chat with Pet S01E02 for you to recap and rejoice:

===

I asked my dog why he eats grass.
🐶 'I like salad.'

I told my cat to stop scratching the couch.
🐈 'It’s ugly anyway.'

I asked my parrot if he’s happy.
🦜 'Define happiness.'

I asked my goldfish what he thinks about.
🐠 'Mostly bubbles.'

I asked my hamster why he runs all night.
🐹 'What else am I supposed to do?'

I asked my turtle what his life goal was.
🐢 'To cross the road someday.'

I told my snake not to bite.
🐍 'Don’t make me Hulk.'

I asked my rabbit if he liked carrots.
🐇 'Do you like salad every day?'

I asked my cat to be home before midnight.
🐈 'Suuuuuure.'

===

so there you have it

i tested the lines on my neighbor bob
bob hasnt smiled since 2019
he reads tax codes for fun

after reading five of my jokes, bob actually chuckled

CHUCKLED

it was like seeing a grizzly bear giggle

since then, my moods been better

stress? lower
coffee? tastes like liquid sunshine again
(and i dont even drink coffee, but you catch my drift, right?)

and because i believe in sharing what works, im offering my entire Summer Smile collection

* 90 days
* 90 jokes
* delivered straight to you
* you pay whatever you want — starting at just 9 euros

that's basically 10 cents per guaranteed laugh
* cheaper than therapy
* and way fewer side effects

pre-order now and you'll get it on june 21st

(that's in just 5 days — but whos counting? me. im counting)

oh, and yes — i also give you my official ChuckleGuarantee™

if you dont laugh at least once a week, i'll refund you every cent

* no questions
* no guilt trips
* no awkward small talk

pre-order now at https://naii.io/summersmile

let's make your summer a bit sillier

oh, one last thing before you go...
i always wanted to be porn star but you know mother nature equipped me more like a woman's gay best friend... if you know what i mean

¡Ándale, arriba!

naii "i got 99 minus 9 problems but the joke aint one" io