keep reading or watch short on youtube
- - -
i have a question for you
when was the last time you laughed out loud?
been a while?
been more than a while?
a decade ago?
are you kidding me?
alright
well, first of all im sorry to hear that
i thought your wife was supposed to make you happy
i didnt you she was going all amber heard on your johnny
but seriously, man
i feel you
the worlds gotten so serious, we forgot how to laugh
i mean, a poker face is fine when youre gambling
but all the time?!?!
i have em-pee-ri-cal and em-poo-ri-cal evidence
that a big mouth means more happiness
and yes i am including those girls you see online
ARGUABLY they are the happiest, right?
cos think about it
they perform a niche sport
mouth fitness
cos around 50 muscles are involved in facial expression
and other oral activities...
and just like any other muscle…
if you don’t use it, you lose it
which explains what youre seeing here…
mick jagger on the left
mitch mcconnell on the right
mick jagger is 80
mitch mcconnell is 81
the benefits of sex, drugs, and rock n roll should not be ignored
and definitely should you not ignore when you have a mitch mouth
so ask yourself:
when youre 80, do you wanna look scared like mcconnell
or move your mouth like jagger?
and if you got boobs and no penis,
similar question...
do you wanna be like donatella versace
with frozen eyes and a botox body?
or a tina turner powerhouse
with a whitney houston golden smile?
choice is yours
and every day it its
thats why i encourage you
to have this moment with me
where you can relax a little
chuckle a little bit
and escape your boring, average, super dull, and sex-free life
so we can bond and be a little bit happier
thats the deal
sure, not every punchline will land
but I promise you at least one thing (for free)
a once-a-week chuckle guarantee
and if you dont chuckle then you are a miserable person
who deserves nothing but a horse in his ass
youre welcome
horse to ass is actually my favorite new fetish
logistically its a little bit... ehm... dangerous
but the rewards is... i mean.... HUUUUUGE!!!!
for gods sake!
anyway
oh, one last thing before you go...
i once met a horse with a big butt
his name was ed and he was depressed
then i showed him my butt
and now were best butties
were no longer doing ass to mouth
but at least i can say that
one of my major lifetime achievements
was to turn a sad horse
into jolly jumper
my name is lucky luke
¡Ándale, arriba!
naii "always watched lucky luke as a child and called his colombian horse jolly jumper" io
p.s. get your happy mood bible for the whole summer... Summer Smile ☀️
90 days
90 punchlines
for the best time of the year
and only 19 cents per cackle
get your copy now
(kill your piggy bank to buy your copy of summer smile ☀️)