June 15, 2025, 3:32 p.m.

do boxes bury happy bodies ○ homo happy 6

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(Scene opens in Dr. Bob’s office. Kathy enters.)

Dr. Bob:
Yes, come in. I’m just washing my hands.

Kathy:
I’m Kathy Bigman. Janet Carlisle referred me.

Dr. Bob:
Ah yes, yes — that’s me. Please, have a seat.
Before we begin, let me explain how we work here.
I charge five dollars for the first five minutes, and absolutely nothing after that.

Kathy:
That sounds great. Almost too good to be true.

Dr. Bob:
Well, I can almost guarantee you we won’t use the full five minutes.
We don’t do any insurance billing — so it’s either cash or check.
And I don’t make change.

Kathy:
Alright.

(They sit.)

Dr. Bob:
So — what brings you here today?

Kathy:
I’m worried I won’t live a long, happy life.

Dr. Bob:
Has someone tried to stop you from living a long, happy life?

Kathy:
No, but thinking about it makes me anxious.
I read too much, overthink everything, stress about my future.
And that ruins my mood and shortens my life.

Dr. Bob: Mhm.
I’m going to say two words now.
Very simple.
Listen carefully, and take them with you.

Kathy:
Should I write them down?

Dr. Bob:
If it helps. But it’s just two words. Most people remember.

Kathy:
Okay.

Dr. Bob:
Here they are:
Stop it.

Kathy:
Stop it?

Dr. Bob:
Yes. S-T-O-P I-T.
Stop it.

Kathy:
So I should just stop worrying about not living a long, happy life?

Dr. Bob:
Exactly.

Kathy:
But I’ve been like this for years—

Dr. Bob:
We don’t go there.

Kathy:
But what if I fail? What if my job stresses me out? What if I don't laugh enough?

Dr. Bob:
We don’t go there.

Kathy:
But I read a study about cortisol levels and telomeres—

Dr. Bob:
We definitely don’t go there.
Just stop it.

Kathy:
Oh… also, I wash my hands a lot.

Dr. Bob:
That’s fine. That’s completely fine.
There are a lot of germs out there.

Kathy:
But sometimes I get so stressed I feel paralyzed.

Dr. Bob:
Don’t be such a big baby.
Just stop it.

Kathy:
You’ll stop it. You’ll stop it.
I don’t like this. I don’t like this therapy at all.

Dr. Bob:
What’s the problem, Kathy?

Kathy:
You’re just telling me to stop it.

Dr. Bob:
And you don’t like that?

Kathy:
No, I don’t.

Dr. Bob:
So you think we’re moving too fast?

Kathy:
Yes. Yes.

Dr. Bob:
Alright then.
Let me give you ten words that I think will clear everything up for you.
You want to get a pad and pencil for this one?

Kathy:
Yes.

Dr. Bob:
Alright. Write this down:
Stop it — or you won’t live a long, happy life.

Bob Newhart - STOP IT! The best two word coaching you'll ever get - YouTube

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¡Ándale, arriba!

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